The Bermuda Triangle of Reaganomics, Puberty and Catholic Sex Education

Inside of this unholy trinity lies my adolescence floating and bobbing in a sea of shy virginity, personally named acnes and intense, lubricated and watery and strange shame filled encounters in my bathroom with the Philadelphia Eagles cheerleaders along with enough bathroom cleaning product air residuals the Scrubbing Bubbles started reciting the Constitution to me in German.

While living in Indiana, in 1983, I was left alone with the Catholic Church once a week through CCD, and forced to take Sex Ed; ¬†last year when I visited my family I found the text book used and read parts to my mom, who was horrified and said ‘If I had known that’s what was in there, I would pulled you out of there.”

I was, and still am, shy. I was, and still am, a psychic and sensitive perfectionistic sponge; I was, and still am, a man with enough Scorpio in his chart to have Sex Machine spinning on my internal juke box like Kennedy’s eternal flame at Arlington, never off, never off; orgasm is at minimum a five syllable word; In India, one more common practice is to look at a newborn’s birth chart to measure the life path, tendencies, etc… if they had looked at mine, they would have said ‘Keep this Sexbomb away from the Catholic Church. Very very far away. If so, he must never ever be allowed to become Sexy. He must never become SexyYoda.’

Below is a snippet of the classic “Reverence for Life and Family: Catechesis in Sexuality’ by John E. Forliti, D. Min. which looks like Democrat, Minnesota but is not;

In Chapter 6: Challenges to Integration, section 8, he states:
In its pastoral care of young people who experience masturbation, the Church advises the following guidelines:
First, avoid the extremes-the one extreme which sees masturbation as something “normal” and not having any moral content at all, and the other extreme which sees it as totally degrading and morally reprehensible. The truth lies somewhere in the middle;

For a repressed Catholic dude, not too bad;

Now, let’s skip to Chapter 10: The Choice for Chastity, also section 8:
The three main sins against chastity for the unmarried are masturbation, premarital sex, and homosexual activity. Masturbation is sinful because of its selfish orientation and because it is against the norms of marriage…

Imagine the delight of my 13 year old eyes reading these two passages and making my equipment want o blow up like Fem-bots;  does the Catholic Church pay reparations for attempted psychological sexual homicide? I took everything to heart; thank God my loins were smarter;

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