Two weeks ago at about 4am I heard gunshots outside my street level window. I’ve been toying with the idea of moving ad this shreds any doubt of it. Hearing gunshots is traumatic. It’s not like the movies. Every apartment I’ve had since I’ve been here except my first in Bay Ridge I’ve heard bullets fly at least once. Here, though, outside my window. Plus I have a shower, not a bathtub and I realize how I miss decompressing in a bath with my special bath albums. I am a diva and have my needs. I am either going somewhere else in Brooklyn or California. We’ll see, though I’m enamored with a house, a full house in historic Long Beach, CA for the same price as a ‘sun-drenched charming lovely studio in the heart or at least spleen area of Park Slope with full kitchenette.’ In New York craigslist, they post pics that are twisted and warped to distort dimensions and look like it’s built on the inside of an Apollo space capsule. We’ll see what the gods done bring to the table.
I am starting an acting class tomorrow and one exercise we had was to describe ourselves in three words and then get five people to describe us in three words. I’ll share here:
my own: noble powerful love-gasm
my other five:
-smart charming eloquent
-discerning, ardent, singular
-nerdy, quirky, funny
-Mercurial, alchemical wizard.
-subtle, sans-serif, sardonic
All are true to me and if I pruned myself like fine interstellar shrubbery, would possibly be left with just these descriptions. I have a new practice of attempting to step outside my own body and look down at myself like another person to see what’s there, to build self compassion and make sure there are no untended pockets, so to speak. I thank my friends for their honesty and creativity.
I think I’m going to start two blogs within each blog, outer dialogue and inner rogue dimensional movements because sometimes I can’t fully articulate what’s going on with me in space time words, and when I can, I have to do it in third person to keep the mirror bent at an angle to keep from freaking out at the straight reflection.